The concept of ‘love’ has permeated human societies since time immemorial. It’s a complex and multifaceted emotion that can bring both joy and suffering. While there are many types of love, the most common ones include eros (passion), storge (affection), philia (friendship), and agape (selfless love). No matter the form, it’s a powerful force that can transform lives.
Significance of the different types of love
From the cradle to the grave, we interact with our families, friends, lovers, ordinary folk, and even animals. Human civilization is based on the mutual love of people, groups and nations. People face trials and tribulations for the sake of those they love, sometimes even risking their lives for it. But not all is as rosy as it may seem. Here’s a brief description of the various types of love and the dark side associated with each of them.
Eros: Passion or romantic love
The word ‘love’ has become synonymous with romance thanks to popular culture. Often characterized by intense attraction and intimacy between two individuals, it is primarily motivated by our innate impulses. This type of love has shaped our society, culture, religion, and laws. On the positive side, passion strengthens social bonds, creating the base for a strong community. Conversely, unruly or wild passion splits families and destroys societies. Unrequited romantic love often leads to suffering for all the parties involved, especially if it has the component of obsession (mania).
Storge: Affection
We harbour affection for our family, friends, or even pets. Feelings of loyalty, support, and protection often characterize this kind of love. It can be potent and enduring. Countless men have braved deadly challenges to protect their families. Mothers and fathers have endured hardships for the sake of their children. For many, their pets and even livestock are like family members who often share and reciprocate this affection. The flip side is that the ‘us vs them’ or ‘ingroup vs outgroup’ mentality brings out the worst in people willing to go to any extent to protect their interests.
Philia: Friendship
Friendship is characterized by camaraderie, trust, and mutual respect. While this type of love may not be as intense as eros or storge, it is often as meaningful and fulfilling and brings great joy to one’s life. Some consider it to be more valuable than romantic love or filial affection. True friendships can help one grow, succeed, and even resolve the most daunting problems. People with healthy friendships live longer and healthier lives. However, as with all good things, friendships have a dark side too. Friends can be fickle and may become antagonists when it suits their purpose.
Agape: Selfless love (superior to other types of love)
This is the highest order of love: selfless and true. Agape signifies love for mankind without any expectations in return. It is not based on any particular relationship or attachment. Social or cultural boundaries do not limit agape. It is universal and unconditional love directed towards all beings, regardless of background or circumstances. It is one of the types of love held in the highest regard by most societies and faiths. The downside is that it does not account for human flaws and can cause suffering due to one’s naivete. Often the best ones among us suffer the most.
Ultimately, all types of love share some common elements: the expression of human emotions and the desire for intimacy, meaning, and purpose. We must cherish and nurture our relationships with fellow beings and appreciate their role in shaping our lives. At the same time, it is crucial to remember that human nature plays a significant role in how others treat us. Being realistic in our expectations while pursuing noble causes will lead to better outcomes.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love. – Sophocles