Pursuit of happiness

Humans hold varying, often contradictory, opinions about attaining happiness. Some believe money makes one happy, while others argue it is power or influence over others that brings fulfilment. Some declare that material pleasure is the only way to attain true happiness, while people with a better understanding of life value social bonds and relationships the most. Contrary to these opinions, I hold that pursuit of happiness keeps one miserable.

Problems with the Pursuit of Happiness

The main issue with chasing happiness is that it involves a form of escapism – escaping from pain, boredom, loneliness, failures and all the other things we despise. Here are the most common ways people try to attain happiness and why they fail.

Garnering wealth: Scrooge’s hoard

Financial success, per se, is crucial to one’s well-being. However, beyond the quantum of wealth necessary to sustain a healthy life, material possessions bring their evil cousins: ego and avarice, among others. Countless have suffered and made others suffer due to their greed and hyperinflated sense of self-worth.

Acquiring power: despots and tyrants

In a dog-eat-dog world, it is anybody’s guess as to why one seeks power and authority over others. It is a survival instinct. However, power corrupts even the purest souls in several ways. In this fickle world, there are no permanent friends or enemies. Nor are there dominant people with just noble intentions.

Hedonism: the worst pursuit of happiness

Seeking materialistic pleasure may help make your life feel good in the short run, but it won’t be long before you get bored and seek something more potent and lasting. Sadly, this only puts you on a downward spiral until you reach the nadir of your life – the point at which nothing makes you happy. People often end up with crippling addiction and mental ill-health.

Fickle Friends: wolves in Sheepskin

Man, a social animal, is bound to rely on other humans for various needs, including but not limited to – companionship, moral support, emotional well-being and primal needs. But when you rely on them so much that they hold the key to your happiness or misery, you end up screwed.

Nostalgia: adding insult to the injury

A septuagenarian, abandoned by his sole child, may run into decades-old footage of his child uttering his very first word and relive those happy moments before the harsh reality dawns upon him. The contrast between the good old days and the present ordeal increases his suffering.

Why and how to quit the pursuit of happiness

Having listed the drawbacks of chasing happiness, I’ll now list why you should stop doing so. I will also show you how you can live a truly fulfilled life.

Develop abundance mindset

Chasing wealth will never end well. People who seek to hoard riches will never find satisfaction in their possessions. There will always be something they do not possess and someone more affluent than them. If you have the necessary resources to lead a healthy and dignified life, there is no point in joining the rat race.

Compare yourself only to your former self

It is human nature to compare oneself to others and revel in one’s perceived superiority. However, the flip side is that one feels low when facing someone superior to oneself. Jealousy and hatred, two of the most destructive emotions, take root in a person feeling inferior to someone else. The only persons you should compare yourself to are your past selves. This gives you an incentive to improve yourself over time.

Fulfil your needs, not desires

Sometimes, it is hard to prioritise things you need over things you desire but do not need. The world is full of people who capitalise on your impulsive choices. Whether it is the restaurants selling junk food, the global conglomerates selling useless gadgets, or your potential romantic partners, all of them gain from the errors you make in judgement. Awareness of your interests while abiding by your principles will save you money, time and peace of mind. It can even save your life.

Becoming self-reliant

It’s good to have friends, family and others who stand by you when you need them. It’s even better to become self-reliant and not rely on anyone’s assistance. Remember that people are usually guided by their self-serving interests. Calling others out for their flaws is not likely to make much impact. Adapt to the unfair world instead of whining about it. Self-reliance can be your most reliable ally.

Living in the present and rising to the challenge

Nobody can heal the scars by dreaming of a better future or recalling a comfortable past. Nostalgia and dreams make your suffering worse. The only way to face hardship is to accept the cold, hard truth and take prudent action.

Quitting Pursuit of Happiness: the challenges ahead

Things are often easier said than done. This includes giving up your long-held beliefs and taking crucial but inconvenient action. Giving up on the eternal chase of wealth and power shall require you to realise that it is an endless rat race. Your quest to lead a life based upon principles shall need a sacrifice of your hedonic self on the altar of self-determination. For those of you who have depended on others for most of their lives, self-reliance will require concerted efforts. Likewise, it shall require tremendous effort to forego nostalgia and dreams that contrast with your current state of suffering,

Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim (Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you) – Ovid