Conflict of interest: no permanent friends or enemies

“Man is a social animal” – thus goes the adage. Verily, devoid of social interactions, human life would be meaningless. These interactions, by nature, involve either cooperation or conflict. Those who share common interests with us, we call them friends. On the other hand, we consider those who have a conflict of interest with us our enemies. This dichotomy plays a crucial role during our entire lives. From a naive perspective, one’s family, peers and members of the same social entity are presumably his ‘friends’ due to shared interests. On the other hand, strangers, outsiders and members of inimical social groups are likely to be ‘enemies’.

But life is not as simple as it may seem to an untrained eye. Our emotions mislead us and prevent us from realizing the objective truth that there are no permanent friends or permanent enemies. Human nature is fickle. People form social bonds when it suits them and part ways the moment it suits their interests. Here is why you shouldn’t categorize people as friends or enemies based on superficial criteria.

Conflict of interest: the survival instinct

Consider a group of friends who have known each other since childhood. They have studied in the same school and now work in the same organization. They swear their loyalty to each other, and each believes that the rest will have his back when things go awry. Now, by a twist of fate, the company decides to let some staff go. Incidentally, it has to be one of the friends we spoke of. Would any of these people be willing to lose their job to save their friend’s job? No. Each of them would wish that whatever comes to pass, he would not be fired.

Take another example. A person has only two choices: save his son from drowning, or save his friend instead. It is anybody’s guess what would happen in this scenario. You could also consider the example when two friends fall for the same person. They are now competitors and hence, at odds with each other. There are innumerable real-world examples which prove that people are willing to forgo old alliances in times of crisis.

Greed, envy and ego

The above examples describe extreme scenarios that can break even the strongest bonds. But humans, being fickle, often screw their friends and family over for much less. History shows people exploiting or sacrificing their friends and families for power or material gain. Greed drives people to despicable actions.

Anyone who has ever succeeded in his endeavours or possessed something of value is no stranger to envy. Often, people too incompetent to attain success find it all too easy to despise and vilify those who have toiled hard to get where they are. Watching their peers get ahead of them hurts them all the more. People have lost old friends due to their success. Sometimes, people deem their old friends inferior when they lag in their careers or other endeavours.

Deceptive appearances

There are people so adept at hiding their true intentions that they make you trust them, all the while backstabbing you. People who appear friendly as long as they stand to gain from it. It is only when things have gone wrong you realize they were exploiting you all along.

Common interests: enemies turn friends

It is no secret that people, and thus their alliances, are guided by their motivations. People who usually don’t get along with each other unite when a common threat emerges. Just as even the closest friends have points of conflict, even the fiercest enemies have some common interests. It is only a matter of circumstances whether someone stands by or against you.

Not just the common folk, the politicians, corporates and even nations temporarily cease mutual hostilities to further a common cause or fight a common enemy. Sometimes, rulers wage wars against foreign enemies to unite the homeland, to convince people that it is time to unite against the foe. Corrupt political parties connive with other corrupt parties to safeguard their interests against potential judicial actions or the wrath of the public.

Dealing with conflict of interest in daily life

It is crucial to comprehend that peoples’ behaviour is shaped by circumstances, for better or worse. It is one of the uncomfortable truths you need to accept. You never know when you may need to defend yourself against a friend who turned became your foe or when you may need to forgo your enmity with someone and work things out together. Here are a few things you can do to guard your interests in all conditions:-

1. Trust others, but be on your guard, for there is always the risk of betrayal.
2. Become self-dependent in all aspects of life within the bounds of reason.
3. Do not let any person have excessive control over your life.
4. Keep your vulnerabilities secret unless the situation demands otherwise.
5. Never disclose all your ideas or plans to someone.
6. Use moral values as guiding principles, but do not let them become your weakness.
7. Handle every conflict of interest with reason, not emotion.
8. Try to focus on the common interests and use them to your advantage.
9. Avoid burning bridges, for you never know when you may need them.

Hopefully, now you shall have more control over the adverse situations involving conflicts of interest and can deal with them. I would love to know about your experience dealing with instances of conflict of interest with your family, friends, colleagues etc. Please share this article to help others resolve their problems.