Often, people complain about things being adverse. Some people believe things are terrible for them, while others are having the time of their lives. Some think there is one magic solution to all our society’s problems – that ascribing to an ideology or some faith could ‘bring things on the right track’. However, one thing is common to all these people – they are unable, or sometimes unwilling, to see or accept the unpleasant facts about life. Here are some of the uncomfortable truths we all need to accept about life and human nature.
The uncomfortable truths you need to accept
We often take many things for granted, considering them the natural state of affairs. We have come to expect order, harmony, cooperation, altruism, and honesty as part of the modern civilized world. However, the cold, hard truth is that our world isn’t, and never was, an ideal place. No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves otherwise, we can’t deny the harsh realities.
Chaos is the natural state of affairs.
Whether it is your personal life or the condition of your society or nation, chaos is omnipresent. Disagreement, discord, strife, war, losses, deaths and destruction have pervaded human existence since time immemorial. In the Stone Age, people would have fought over their share of the kill, while in modern times, they may fight over borders, finances and politics. While the objects of contention have changed, the fact that there is disharmony hasn’t.
You’ll see people coming up with complex, and sometimes absurd, explanations for why someone may engage in anti-social/violent behaviour or commit a crime. Some theories often paint the aggressor as someone who was himself a victim of the circumstances. Events that could be explained as the result of the negative traits of human nature are often contorted into propaganda. All this mental gymnastics is done to avoid the cold, hard truth that humans aren’t born as ‘angels’ who become evil solely due to circumstances.
There is a common misconception that their misery is caused solely by other people and that all will be well if and when these other people are cast away or eliminated. The truth is that once your current enemies are out of the picture, you’ll start quibbling with your ‘friends’. If you continue along these lines, there will be a point when you’ll be alone and still unhappy. This is the point when people are most prone to self-destructive behaviour.
There is no perfect scenario.
This is the harshest, uncomfortable truth of human life: there is no perfect world, no perfect ‘system’. There will be no utopia where everyone is happy and peaceful, no world sans conflict, misery, and pain. Be it personal or public life, there will always be issues.
You’ll never have a job that’s easy to get, exciting, well-paying, stress-free, and with lots of benefits – all at the same time. Such a job does not exist. No person can be a flawless partner for you. No society will ever be utopian, devoid of the ills of human nature. There can be no perfect social order where no one suffers. This brings us to the next one on the list of the uncomfortable truths we all need to accept.
The masses will always suffer.
Another falsehood often supported and propagated by the public and influential people alike is the myth of ‘the system’. To summarize, this is the line of thinking that makes people believe that a particular ‘-ism’ is the root of all evils and that another ‘-ism’ shall fix everything. People seem unable to accept that most vices are common to all societies and social systems. You may uproot one tyrant and his evil ideology only to replace him with another who might be worse.
There will always be a distinction between the people who run the show and the common folk. An elected representative may replace a king, but there is no guarantee that he will be more sympathetic to the plight of the masses. The only thing that matters the most to rulers is power—gaining, maintaining, and benefitting from it. Some rulers may be better than others, but there will never be one with no flaws, victims, or enemies.
The fixation on utopian fantasies thrives on the misconception that some people are inherently evil and oppressive while others are innocent victims of the former. It makes people buy into the idea that everything would be utopian once the right people are in power and the right system is in place. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The slippery slope is real.
People often claim that statements regarding the slippery slope are fallacious and exaggerated. However, even a cursory look at human history will tell you otherwise. The truth is that people, groups, governments and organizations will try to get away with anything you let them get away with and attempt incrementally objectionable actions. This applies to private as well as public life.
If not appropriately confronted, an abusive partner gets more aggressive over time. Toxic behaviour at the workplace tends to get worse with time if not countered. Corporate greed knows no limits, lest the power of the public or the law restrict it. Government policies must be criticized and voted against, lest they become more oppressive for the common man. Fringe social trends become more commonplace and eventually the new normal.
Bad habits become more frequent and more challenging to get rid of in personal life. Financial problems, if not resolved in time, can spell disaster. Your life will worsen if you frequently give in to negative emotions and desires like fear, anger, and greed. This is why one must handle problems and counter threats as soon as possible.
People want benefits, not ideals.
You have, undoubtedly, come across concepts of equality, fairness, justice, etc. Probably, you have also faced ‘hypocrites’ who want equality and fairness only as long as they, or the persons/groups they support, stand to gain from such noble ideas. While justice, fairness and other ideals are crucial to any civilized society, they often fail to work in real-world scenarios because people care only about benefits. People who demand equality and equity usually willfully ignore inequality and injustice that works in their favour.
The proponents do not fight for universal equality; they demand equality [of benefits] for [insert a suitable demographic]. Those who fight for ‘justice’ fight ‘injustice’ against [insert a suitable demographic]. They hardly care for the plight of those outside their circle of concern. Those who find inequality outrageous are often vexed due to someone getting a better deal than them, not when the reverse is true. People frequently complain that a particular co-worker has better pay than them. Has anyone ever complained of having a lesser workload than another colleague?
People are wilfully ignorant of their flaws.
You might have seen people deride others for immoral behaviour while doing the same thing themselves repeatedly: reckless drivers blaming others for flouting traffic rules, unfaithful partners who get hurt by their partner’s infidelity, pathological liars who expect everyone else to be truthful, aggressive people who preach that others must behave cordially—all of these are examples of people being wilfully ignorant of their flaws.
People who do everything they can to amass as much of a fortune as possible and are unwilling to help the poor often dictate that others must donate to ‘end poverty’ or ‘eliminate hunger’. People who travel in private jets and own a fleet of cars denigrate the average Joe for commuting in his humble vehicle. The countries whose leaders have historically caused unrest and instability in faraway nations lecture other nations on the importance of peace.
The examples are endless, and so is human hypocrisy.
Alliances are temporary: situations change, and so do people.
Human nature is fickle. People form social bonds when it suits them and part ways the moment it suits their interests. It is no secret that people, and thus their alliances, are guided by their motivations. Just as even the closest friends have points of conflict, even the fiercest enemies have some common interests. People who usually don’t get along with each other unite when a common threat emerges. It is only a matter of circumstances whether someone stands by or against you.
It is not just the common folk; politicians, corporations, and even nations temporarily cease mutual hostilities to further a common cause or fight a common enemy. Sometimes, rulers wage wars against foreign enemies to unite the homeland and convince people that it is time to unite against the foe. Corrupt political parties connive with other corrupt parties to safeguard their interests against potential judicial actions or the wrath of the public.
Processing the uncomfortable truths
The uncomfortable truths are often difficult to digest, leading to denial and self-deception in the individuals who realize them. The sweet lies fed to us by our well-meaning family, friends, and people who have less-than-honourable intentions deceive us so well that we fail to witness even the glaringly apparent truths. It takes time and effort to come to terms with our reality. But the efforts are undoubtedly rewarding.
It is better to accept the truth, no matter how bitter, rather than believing comforting lies. Denial of the truth doesn’t change the outcome that awaits you. The sooner one wakes up, the better.
I would love to know about your experience with what you consider to be the uncomfortable truths of human existence. Please let me know your opinion in the comments, and share this article to spread the word.